When Vergil & I got married, we chose a passage from Matthew about not worrying; about trusting God for our needs. We come back to that verse often when we're in stressful times. It reminds us that God is in control and that we can count on him to take care of us.
Today's passage is from Jeremiah 17:5-8 and it reminds us of the same thing. If we only trust in ourselves, we will never see relief when troubled times come. If we refuse to look to God, the 'drought' or the desert will seem to last forever. However, if we rely on God and trust him, we will prosper. We will be like trees planted near water that never worries about droughts.
I need that reminder all the time. My trust is in God who orders all things for good. That's not to say I will never experience hard times. It's not to imply that nothing bad will ever happen to me. My trust in God goes beyond my experiences here in this world. It has to because sin always marrs goodness. My trust in God has to go all the way to heaven when God will make everything right. Then I'll experience true justice. Then I'll experience true peace. Then I'll experience complete belonging.
Some days its hard to trust. Some days I find it extremely difficult to believe that anything good can come from the crap situations I find myself and my friends in. But I don't trust God in the vain hope that things will be made right in this life. I trust him to make things right in the next.
In the meantime, I have to choose every day to trust him with all the little things. That's often harder than trusting him with the big stuff. The big stuff is overwhelming - I don't want to keep those worries for myself. The little stuff I always try to convince myself I can manage on my own. But in the end, I need to trust God with that too.
What do you need to learn to trust God with?
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
doing vs. being
I think I have already established that I get a sense of accomplishment out of 'doing' things. This lent, I'm trying to give up my need to do so much stuff. Not that I'll just sit back and be completely lazy and useless for 40 days, rather, I want to seek to be content with who I am instead of what I do.
Sometimes passages in the Bible can feel very conflicting to me when it comes to this issue. There are many passages that instruct us to do good things, like today's from Isaiah 1:16-17. The instructions are clear - do good. Doing good in the Bible almost always referrs to caring for others. It's always about the second half of the ten commandments - the 'love your neighbour' part.
The thing I often forget, however, is that the 'love your neighbor' part of the ten commandments is completely futile (and sometimes impossible) if you don't follow the first half, the 'love the Lord your God' part.
If you love someone, you want to please them. I love Vergil so I do things to show him I love him. I want to please him. I want him to see by my actions that I love him. It's the same with God. If we really love him, we'll want to please him. We'll want to show him by our actions that we love him. And it's funny, but the way we show him that we love him is to love each other.
We cannot make God love us any more or any less than he already does. But our responsibility is to show him our love for him. That's why we need to do good.
So, here's me - someone who feels better or worse about myself based on the things I do. So how do I reduce that tendancy? I think what I need to do is focus on God's love for me. If I commit to thinking about that, then I won't be so focused on trying to 'earn' his love by what I do. Then the good things I do will flow out of who I am - a person loved by God.
I feel a little rambly and tired this morning. I'm sorry if this blog didn't make any sense today. :o)
Sometimes passages in the Bible can feel very conflicting to me when it comes to this issue. There are many passages that instruct us to do good things, like today's from Isaiah 1:16-17. The instructions are clear - do good. Doing good in the Bible almost always referrs to caring for others. It's always about the second half of the ten commandments - the 'love your neighbour' part.
The thing I often forget, however, is that the 'love your neighbor' part of the ten commandments is completely futile (and sometimes impossible) if you don't follow the first half, the 'love the Lord your God' part.
If you love someone, you want to please them. I love Vergil so I do things to show him I love him. I want to please him. I want him to see by my actions that I love him. It's the same with God. If we really love him, we'll want to please him. We'll want to show him by our actions that we love him. And it's funny, but the way we show him that we love him is to love each other.
We cannot make God love us any more or any less than he already does. But our responsibility is to show him our love for him. That's why we need to do good.
So, here's me - someone who feels better or worse about myself based on the things I do. So how do I reduce that tendancy? I think what I need to do is focus on God's love for me. If I commit to thinking about that, then I won't be so focused on trying to 'earn' his love by what I do. Then the good things I do will flow out of who I am - a person loved by God.
I feel a little rambly and tired this morning. I'm sorry if this blog didn't make any sense today. :o)
Monday, March 13, 2006
avoiding conflict
Most people who know me know how much I hate confrontation. I can discuss just about any issue and I can even get passionate about stuff, but if I sense that the 'discussion' is moving towards a fight, I back right off and don't look back.
People think it's weird that Vergil and I have never had a fight in our 7 years together. There are multiple reasons for that, but some of them are that a) we're communicators. We talk about stuff all the time and therefore don't typically have any miscommunications to fight about. b) We have very similar personalities. We think alike on most issues and those that we don't agree don't really affect our relationship anyway. c) I hate conflict. I get upset when other people fight, so you can fair bet that I avoid it in my own relationships.
All this is really a side bar to today's passage (Luke 6:36-38). It's still early, so I don't know if my thoughts are going to be very connected. Anyway, I shall ramble on. Today's passage is a bit of a mantra of mine. It's the one I refer to when I'm in especially sticky moral dilemmas such as homosexuality. It's a good out - 'do not judge and you will not be judged; do not condemn and you will not be condemned.' This passage saves me from conflict by allowing me not to take a firm stand on a number of people-related issues.
However, as I think about it, I realize that I'm guilty of not applying this mantra to much of my everyday life. I judge people all the time based on what they wear, their hairstyle, the peculiar angle of their nose and the way they behave in the 2 seconds I observe or hear about. "That girl is a ho." "That guy is a dude." "Sports commentators make me want to cut my ears off."
I'm two faced. I only use this verse as a fail-safe for avoiding conflict. I don't always apply it to the rest of my life. I need to guard my mouth and my thoughts to be sure that I am truly being merciful. That I am withholding judgement and condemnation. That I am seeking to forgive, even if it means letting that guy cut me off without flipping him the bird.
And, as always, Jesus' teaching is harder than it first appears. It seems fine and easy in theory but to put it into honest practice is a whole other ball game. But you know what? I want that 'good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over,' poured into my lap.
"If you give, you begin to live...you begin...you get the world!"
People think it's weird that Vergil and I have never had a fight in our 7 years together. There are multiple reasons for that, but some of them are that a) we're communicators. We talk about stuff all the time and therefore don't typically have any miscommunications to fight about. b) We have very similar personalities. We think alike on most issues and those that we don't agree don't really affect our relationship anyway. c) I hate conflict. I get upset when other people fight, so you can fair bet that I avoid it in my own relationships.
All this is really a side bar to today's passage (Luke 6:36-38). It's still early, so I don't know if my thoughts are going to be very connected. Anyway, I shall ramble on. Today's passage is a bit of a mantra of mine. It's the one I refer to when I'm in especially sticky moral dilemmas such as homosexuality. It's a good out - 'do not judge and you will not be judged; do not condemn and you will not be condemned.' This passage saves me from conflict by allowing me not to take a firm stand on a number of people-related issues.
However, as I think about it, I realize that I'm guilty of not applying this mantra to much of my everyday life. I judge people all the time based on what they wear, their hairstyle, the peculiar angle of their nose and the way they behave in the 2 seconds I observe or hear about. "That girl is a ho." "That guy is a dude." "Sports commentators make me want to cut my ears off."
I'm two faced. I only use this verse as a fail-safe for avoiding conflict. I don't always apply it to the rest of my life. I need to guard my mouth and my thoughts to be sure that I am truly being merciful. That I am withholding judgement and condemnation. That I am seeking to forgive, even if it means letting that guy cut me off without flipping him the bird.
And, as always, Jesus' teaching is harder than it first appears. It seems fine and easy in theory but to put it into honest practice is a whole other ball game. But you know what? I want that 'good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over,' poured into my lap.
"If you give, you begin to live...you begin...you get the world!"
Monday, March 06, 2006
judgement
Today's passage (Matt. 25:34-40) is another of those teachings of Jesus that always makes me a little uneasy. The separation of the righteous from the unrighteous. The judgement of the good and the bad. The decision that determines where you end up - heaven or hell.
Jesus talks about the righteous helping those who are in need. Clothing the naked, welcoming the stranger, caring for the sick, visiting the prisoner. Whatever we do for the least of these, we do for Jesus. Passages like this remind me that I'm not doing enough. I have not clothed a naked person (yes, I've given old clothes to the Salvation Army, but you'd be hard-pressed to find any naked people roaming the streets in the middle of a Winnipeg winter). I don't remember the last time I welcomed a stranger (yes, I welcome new TYNers, but they're not exactly strangers, are they?). I don't care for the sick (yes, I have taken care of my grandparents when they are not feeling well and have many times brought flowers or food for my friend who was all but living in the hospital for a while there, but that's stuff that I would do anyway). And I've never visited anyone in prison (okay, I have a friend who's dad is in prison (wrongfully, I might add) and I care for her, but again, something I would do anyway).
I notice my familiar theme again - 'I'm not doing enough'. As though my salvation depends on the things I do. I know better. I'm smarter than that. I know there's nothing I can 'do' to make God love me any more or any less.
And yet, I still feel inadequate. I could go out and do all the things that Jesus instructs - but somehow, I know I would be doing it just to make myself feel better.
One of the things that really struck me in this verse today was when Jesus describes the response of the righteous. They didn't know they had done all these things. They just did them because it's something they would do anyway. Almost like when Jesus points these things out to them, it's the first time they've heard of it. "When did we do all of that?" they wonder.
It makes me realize that righteousness is not earned. Instead, it flows out of relationship with God. It arises out of the understanding of what Jesus' death and resurrection really means. Righteousness does not mean 'doing' good things all the time; that's the kind of behaviour Jesus raged agains in the bible. Doing good things for the sake of appearing good.
Rather, righteousness is a shift in personality and attitude that God grants us when we accept Jesus into our hearts. We do good works not because we want to look good but because it's something we would do anyway. It's part of who we are. It's part of the new creation that God has made in us through the death and resurrection of his son.
I think I need to think about that more this lent, since I'm trying to give up my need to do things. Why do I need to do so much? Is it to make myself look good or is it because that's who I am?
Definitely a point to ponder...
Jesus talks about the righteous helping those who are in need. Clothing the naked, welcoming the stranger, caring for the sick, visiting the prisoner. Whatever we do for the least of these, we do for Jesus. Passages like this remind me that I'm not doing enough. I have not clothed a naked person (yes, I've given old clothes to the Salvation Army, but you'd be hard-pressed to find any naked people roaming the streets in the middle of a Winnipeg winter). I don't remember the last time I welcomed a stranger (yes, I welcome new TYNers, but they're not exactly strangers, are they?). I don't care for the sick (yes, I have taken care of my grandparents when they are not feeling well and have many times brought flowers or food for my friend who was all but living in the hospital for a while there, but that's stuff that I would do anyway). And I've never visited anyone in prison (okay, I have a friend who's dad is in prison (wrongfully, I might add) and I care for her, but again, something I would do anyway).
I notice my familiar theme again - 'I'm not doing enough'. As though my salvation depends on the things I do. I know better. I'm smarter than that. I know there's nothing I can 'do' to make God love me any more or any less.
And yet, I still feel inadequate. I could go out and do all the things that Jesus instructs - but somehow, I know I would be doing it just to make myself feel better.
One of the things that really struck me in this verse today was when Jesus describes the response of the righteous. They didn't know they had done all these things. They just did them because it's something they would do anyway. Almost like when Jesus points these things out to them, it's the first time they've heard of it. "When did we do all of that?" they wonder.
It makes me realize that righteousness is not earned. Instead, it flows out of relationship with God. It arises out of the understanding of what Jesus' death and resurrection really means. Righteousness does not mean 'doing' good things all the time; that's the kind of behaviour Jesus raged agains in the bible. Doing good things for the sake of appearing good.
Rather, righteousness is a shift in personality and attitude that God grants us when we accept Jesus into our hearts. We do good works not because we want to look good but because it's something we would do anyway. It's part of who we are. It's part of the new creation that God has made in us through the death and resurrection of his son.
I think I need to think about that more this lent, since I'm trying to give up my need to do things. Why do I need to do so much? Is it to make myself look good or is it because that's who I am?
Definitely a point to ponder...
Thursday, March 02, 2006
egomaniac
It doesn't take me long to think of at least ten people I would consider to be egomainiacs. People who are so self-obsessed that they make you feel bad about yourself just by giving you 'that look' out of the corner of their eye.
They make me very angry.
And then I think to myself of something I have found to be very true - you hate the most the thing you do yourself. Does that mean I'm an egomaniac? Sometimes. Not that I outwardly show it, necessarily, but there are times when I catch myself thinking that I'm most definitely better than a lot of other people. I fish for compliments. I dig around to find out what good things people think of me. I pat myself on the back every time I do something I know someone would admire.
Today's passage is similar to one I talked about a couple weeks ago. It's Jesus instructing us to deny ourselves, take up our crosses and follow him.
Lent is about denying yourself something. I've decided to try to give something up that's a little more difficult than giving up my morning tea. I'm going to try to give up my need to do things and my need to be successful. I'm going to try to learn how to rest in God.
This is something that's a constant struggle for me because it means denying the egomaniac part of me. It prevents me from finding my self-satisfaction in the things that I do and forces me to boast in God rather than in myself. It forces me to slow down and get out of God's way so that he can do his work without me trying to control the whole situation.
What are you denying yourself this lenten season? What does the cross you are bearing look like as you follow Jesus?
They make me very angry.
And then I think to myself of something I have found to be very true - you hate the most the thing you do yourself. Does that mean I'm an egomaniac? Sometimes. Not that I outwardly show it, necessarily, but there are times when I catch myself thinking that I'm most definitely better than a lot of other people. I fish for compliments. I dig around to find out what good things people think of me. I pat myself on the back every time I do something I know someone would admire.
Today's passage is similar to one I talked about a couple weeks ago. It's Jesus instructing us to deny ourselves, take up our crosses and follow him.
Lent is about denying yourself something. I've decided to try to give something up that's a little more difficult than giving up my morning tea. I'm going to try to give up my need to do things and my need to be successful. I'm going to try to learn how to rest in God.
This is something that's a constant struggle for me because it means denying the egomaniac part of me. It prevents me from finding my self-satisfaction in the things that I do and forces me to boast in God rather than in myself. It forces me to slow down and get out of God's way so that he can do his work without me trying to control the whole situation.
What are you denying yourself this lenten season? What does the cross you are bearing look like as you follow Jesus?
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
lent
Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. It's the day where we're supposed to commemorate Jesus' sacrifice for us by giving up something we feel has a hold over us for 40 days - from now until Easter.
Vergil decided he was going to give up Starbucks and coffee, but I couldn't think of something to give up myself. Coffee? I stopped drinking that this past summer. Tea? I really only have one cup a day. Besides which, it's good for me. Sugar? I haven't done enough pre-planning to do that. Smoking? Not a smoker.
Today's reading from Joel 2:12-14 is about repentance. Turning back to God with our whole hearts. The 'Need Inspiration' section invites the reader to give up the things that have a hold on our lives. So what has a hold on me? The only thing I could think of was the chaos of my life.
How do I give up my life? How do I give up all the things I'm doing for 40 days? I can't not go to work. I can't not go to Youth. How do I give up the craziness that I've been feeling recently? How do I let go of the chaos in my head when I have so much to do?
Weird, no? I think so. I feel very torn about this year's lent. Normally, lent passes and I don't even know when it started. This year for some reason I'm very conscious of it. Like it smacked me in the face. I can't figure out why.
Maybe I'm being called to something. The trouble is, whenever I think about 'being called' my brain instantly goes to thinking it's something I need to do.
Maybe that's it. Maybe I need to give up my need to do stuff. Maybe I need to give up (again) the importance I feel when I get things done. Maybe I need to take more time to rest and be with God. Maybe that's what I'm being called to this lent.
Vergil and I are going to try to rest this weekend. I hope that can be the start of a 'restful' lent for me. Will you remember to pray for me? I'd appreciate it.
What are you being called to give up this lent?
Vergil decided he was going to give up Starbucks and coffee, but I couldn't think of something to give up myself. Coffee? I stopped drinking that this past summer. Tea? I really only have one cup a day. Besides which, it's good for me. Sugar? I haven't done enough pre-planning to do that. Smoking? Not a smoker.
Today's reading from Joel 2:12-14 is about repentance. Turning back to God with our whole hearts. The 'Need Inspiration' section invites the reader to give up the things that have a hold on our lives. So what has a hold on me? The only thing I could think of was the chaos of my life.
How do I give up my life? How do I give up all the things I'm doing for 40 days? I can't not go to work. I can't not go to Youth. How do I give up the craziness that I've been feeling recently? How do I let go of the chaos in my head when I have so much to do?
Weird, no? I think so. I feel very torn about this year's lent. Normally, lent passes and I don't even know when it started. This year for some reason I'm very conscious of it. Like it smacked me in the face. I can't figure out why.
Maybe I'm being called to something. The trouble is, whenever I think about 'being called' my brain instantly goes to thinking it's something I need to do.
Maybe that's it. Maybe I need to give up my need to do stuff. Maybe I need to give up (again) the importance I feel when I get things done. Maybe I need to take more time to rest and be with God. Maybe that's what I'm being called to this lent.
Vergil and I are going to try to rest this weekend. I hope that can be the start of a 'restful' lent for me. Will you remember to pray for me? I'd appreciate it.
What are you being called to give up this lent?
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