lent

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. It's the day where we're supposed to commemorate Jesus' sacrifice for us by giving up something we feel has a hold over us for 40 days - from now until Easter.

Vergil decided he was going to give up Starbucks and coffee, but I couldn't think of something to give up myself. Coffee? I stopped drinking that this past summer. Tea? I really only have one cup a day. Besides which, it's good for me. Sugar? I haven't done enough pre-planning to do that. Smoking? Not a smoker.

Today's reading from Joel 2:12-14 is about repentance. Turning back to God with our whole hearts. The 'Need Inspiration' section invites the reader to give up the things that have a hold on our lives. So what has a hold on me? The only thing I could think of was the chaos of my life.

How do I give up my life? How do I give up all the things I'm doing for 40 days? I can't not go to work. I can't not go to Youth. How do I give up the craziness that I've been feeling recently? How do I let go of the chaos in my head when I have so much to do?

Weird, no? I think so. I feel very torn about this year's lent. Normally, lent passes and I don't even know when it started. This year for some reason I'm very conscious of it. Like it smacked me in the face. I can't figure out why.

Maybe I'm being called to something. The trouble is, whenever I think about 'being called' my brain instantly goes to thinking it's something I need to do.

Maybe that's it. Maybe I need to give up my need to do stuff. Maybe I need to give up (again) the importance I feel when I get things done. Maybe I need to take more time to rest and be with God. Maybe that's what I'm being called to this lent.

Vergil and I are going to try to rest this weekend. I hope that can be the start of a 'restful' lent for me. Will you remember to pray for me? I'd appreciate it.

What are you being called to give up this lent?