out of his mind

Today's passage on the Sacred Space was about Jesus going home and the crowds following him - so many that they couldn't even find somewhere to feed them all. Jesus' family goes out to restrain him because everyone said that he was out of his mind. Could you imagine if you had a brother like Jesus? All his life he seems pretty normal - maybe a little quirky at times, but relatively normal. He's the oldest, so he's naturally the one who's gonna take over the family business. And he seems interested in doing that too - going to work with your dad when he's old enough and all the rest of it.

And then, one day, out of the blue (or at least, to you it seems that way), he announces at dinner that he won't be taking over for dad. He's headed out to preach, teach and heal. Just like that. Maybe you chuckle to yourself or even mock him. "Are you being serious? You're just gonna go out preaching and teaching and healing. Who's gonna listen to you?" And Jesus just gives you that look and says, "Yes, I'm serious. I won't be home tomorrow. Actually, I'm not sure when I'll be home again."

"Well, where are you gonna live?"

"Wherever I can."

"What about your job?"

"God will provide."

"What will you eat? No job means no money means no food."

"God'll take care of it."

"You're crazy."

"Maybe. Wanna come with me?"

"Pshh! I don't think so."

But he goes out anyway. And the next thing you hear, there are crowds following him everywhere he goes. But the people in your neighborhood and your church start to whisper. "Poor Mary and Joseph. I don't envy them their son. He seemed like such a good boy. Who knew he was crazy?"

So you have a 'family meeting' to try to figure out what to do with Jesus. You're all worried about him. But you're really more worried about your own reputations. Who wants to be related to a crazy person? You decide to stage an intervention. You'll go out and drag Jesus home, by hook or by crook.

But when you get there, you can't even make your way through the crowd to your own brother. Your brother. Not theirs. Yours. And when you finally do, Jesus just give you that look and says, "They're the ones that need me right now. You'll be okay. Stop worrying so much about what other people think of you."

I think I'd be mad. I'd be angry because I'd be possessive of Jesus. He's MY brother, I would try to argue. He should think of his family first, not all these strangers.

Not that it would do any good. I wonder if I'm sometimes too possessive of my relationships. I have a hard time letting them go. I hold on to them even after they've stopped being productive to either of us - mostly because I want the other person to still 'like' me. What is it about me that always wants people to 'like' me so much? It seems so selfish when I think about it that way. It's hard to let people go, but sometimes we have to. God's purpose for them might not be to put their family first, it might be to serve complete strangers. God's purpose for them might have nothing to do with you at all. Or maybe, God's purpose for them only involved you for a short time... And I guess the same goes for me.

A good friend of mine explained a hard lesson to me yesterday. All relationships end. That's the nature of relationships. The only one that cannot end is your relationship with God. That's why that relationship has to come first because when the pain of the end of other relationships come, you will need someone who can heal you. Someone who won't go away. God won't ever go away.

So I guess the question then is, "Is my relationship with God the most important thing to me?" I don't know if I can say a definitive yes yet. Can you?