risky business

Christianity is risky business. The passage on the Sacred Space today was about Jesus calling the first four disciples, Simon, Andrew, James and John. Simon and Andrew left their job to follow Jesus. James and John left their father.

As I thought about this passage, I wondered where I fell when it comes to taking risks in my Christian life. I think I can take risks with my job and my career. In fact, I have done exactly that for most of my adult life - I have never held on to a job so dearly that I could not easily let it go. But I don't think I could do the same with my family. I don't think I could leave them as easily as James and John seemed to do.

Wait a minute, though. Did I not leave them already? Did I not decide to stay in Winnipeg when I could have moved to Edmonton with them? Did I not choose to make my life here, without them, instead of there, with them? I suppose I did. Maybe I already took that risk.

It's a strange thing to read about how easy it seemed for the disciples to just pick up and leave everything to follow Jesus. Did they ever have second thoughts? Did they ever think to themselves, what the heck am I doing?

What was it about Jesus that attracted them? There are no descriptions of what Jesus might have looked like, but for some reason, I don't think that he was particularly handsome. Not in today's Hollywood sense of the word, anyway. I wonder if he was just kind of ordinary looking but at the same time, someone you never forgot. I'll bet he had a fire in his eyes and a way of looking at you that made you feel like he saw clean through to your soul. I'll bet there was nothing but love in his face, a serene kind of joy and peace that you craved for yourself. I'll bet it was hard to be on the fence about him - he was probably one of those people you either loved or hated. I wonder if anyone ever called him a 'nice' guy. "Yeah, he claims to be the son of God, but he really is a nice guy."

And just imagine - Jesus, this strangely attractive but kind of odd guy, walking around, calling people away from their jobs and their families because the kingdom of God was near.

The kingdom of God. It was something your parents would tell you stories about before you went to bed. Stories of your rich heritage, of how God always came to your rescue and now, in this time of oppression, there was still that hope - that God's kingdom would come near once more. And here was Jesus, proclaiming that the time had come. It was here. Your hopes fulfilled.

Maybe the disciples were all dreamers. They all longed to be knights in shining armor, helping to usher God's kingdom in - like the stories they'd heard about the great commander, Joseph. They all wanted to be heros. Maybe that's what attracted them.

What kind of risks am I willing to take to follow Jesus? Am I willing to throw myself at him with abandon, excited for the adventures he has in store for me? Am I allowed to be a dreamer, like the disciples, of being a hero in bringing the kingdom of God to earth? I hope so.

Only I wonder if it would be all right if I could be a ninja instead of a knight...